Life's Riches

This past weekend, my new friend Michael took me to Easthampton to visit an art showing of two of his friends from the area. Well beyond the art, I experience something far more special. I was introduced to a group of people that all seem to share something. Their connections were like a tightly knitted quilt, all coming together to form something special and warm and comforting. To show how small the world really is, I connected to a woman who attended St. Joseph's School and Parish in Springfield MA, several years prior to my attendence. Her last name was a familiar name in the parish and I am sure she knew of either my parents, aunts or Grandparents.

After the show, about 15 of us went to dinner a chic restaurant nearby. Since I was the least known of the bunch and had the fortunate spot at one end of the table, I was able to observe the party. And what a party! It was only today, as I thought about the weekend did I realize how rich these people are. It was truly wonderful to witness the diversity of people from ages 40s, 50s and 60s+ celebrate their lives. I'd guess that maybe 50% of us were openly out gay, single and partnered and 50% single and married straight men and women. It was joyous to watch everyone celebrate themselves because of who they were. They celebrated the art of their friends' show. They celebrated the coming together of close friends who travel from far to simply greet one another. It made me wonder whether the generations of my own family would be so at ease. One of the married couples stayed for cocktails after dinner with some of "the gays". They reminded me easily of aunts and uncles of my own from NH. I found them as open and accepting (more even) than some gays and lesbians in "liberal" Boston. They even mentioned how rich their own lives became as they got to know the group more intimately.

The following morning we visited the couple, Ron and Judy Edwards, who had their art show the previous evening. They have been retired for some time and have a lovely home in Westfield. I was given a brief tour of their studio. The interior of their home smelled much like my own Memere's in NH when I was a kid. In fact, she had two pie crusts at the ready for filling. It was fascinating to listen to stories of the children and grandchildren and how their art is so personal.

A close friend of Michael, Dennis who was our gracious host for the evening, commented about whether his life in retirement is full or rich. I'd argue that his life is quite rich. Not because of anything monetary or physical but because of the amount of love that is shared among these friends. I was honored to have witnessed it and to have bathed in it, but for several hours.

I woke up this morning with a very strong awareness that March arrived. I've always loved March. It's my birth month and that of my brother, father and grandfather. My mother always loved to note that all the men in her life were born in March, all 5 days apart: her two sons, her husband and her father-- 15th, 20th, 25th and 30th. There is a nice synergy to that for my Mom.

I've also felt connected to March because of some astrological, astronomical and psychological connection. Regardless of the calendar or the weather, for me it's is the start of Spring. I left for work this morning at 7:30 and decided to cut through the park for the first time this year. The air was crisp and the sky blue. Certainly no real sign of Spring but it felt good to take the "scenic route" once again. There is still crusty snow and ice here and there and I expect that Spring will take it's sweet time to arrive, but March has in fact arrived and there was certainly a spring in my step on my way to work.

I've never minded Winter and in general always enjoyed the power of winter weather. As with all things in life, this Winter noted both significant high notes and low. I celebrated my one year anniversary in my new home. And as I've done much work in getting my kitchen to a level of organization and well equipped, I've done more cooking in the past 3 months then ever before. Cooking has become very therapeutic and cathartic. The planning, shopping, chopping, searing, brazing, saucing, seasoning and tasting have all been a delight. It is the first time in my life where I have felt a certain nesting I've never experienced. It is also the first time since living with my family of origin that I feel a part of a larger family with my best friend living upstairs and my roomie sharing this apartment. Cooking for them and my other friends has brought me joy, peace and a sense of sharing I've never had.

I also enter the 10th year of my new profession this Spring. This Winter has been especially stressful and difficult professionally. I've had to face a particular ethical dilemma dealing with a client's disclosure of behaviors that are illegal, immoral and damaging to others. The dilemma has resolved itself but the client remains and my professional obligation to treat the client and hold the story shakes me emotionally. I remember well when entering this profession what a huge responsibility it was. And, that intervening into people's lives was a larger responsibility. These past several weeks have reminded me like nothing else how true that thought is.

So March marks the beginning of Spring for me- And Spring is the symbol of rebirth and new life. In March I enter my second century of life (how dramatic!) and my second decade of a profession I love. So it seems I would have figured "it" out by now. But I haven't. Last Friday I told a client that life is lived inside the struggle. And so I do.